It is easy to point the finger, but we all hold unconscious biases, without even realising it. It is a natural human tendency. Our brains default to stereotypes as a way of speeding up our social response in a complex social environment.
Let’s be honest, we make snap judgements about others all the time – in a restaurant, on the street, at a social event, when interviewing for a job – often based on gender, age, ethnicity and national culture.
Assumptions triggered by the unconscious mind
I became very aware of cultural differences at a very early age. Born to first-generation Pakistani immigrant parents in the UK, I grew up in a small village in the Yorkshire Dales. My parents held the cultural values of their birth nation close, juxtaposing a counterculture of sorts to impart principles that I would not be exposed to in my immediate sphere. Having dealt with my fair share of discrimination, I would like to say that I am fully conscious of my own biases towards others, however that isn’t entirely true!
I spent a brief chapter of my life in Pakistan from the age of 19 where I married a man born and raised there, one who associated more strongly with traditional Islamic culture. Despite a somewhat conservative upbringing, nothing had quite prepared me for this experience, to say it was a culture shock is an understatement. Hence the brevity of this chapter.
Much later in life, I realised that my short experience in Pakistan had tainted my view of Asians (my definition of Asian being a sub-region of Asia including the Indian subcontinent). It was not until, many years later, I met my Sri Lankan-born, Hong Kong-raised partner in Australia, that I was fully confronted with my own preconceptions.
In the early days of getting to know one another we stumbled upon a Pakistani restaurant for a late-night snack. I can’t pinpoint what it was in that exact moment in that setting – the aromas, the music or the demeanour of the predominantly male clientele – that thrust me out of my comfort zone. Suddenly, seeing a potential partner in that environment, alarm bells started sounding in my head. In a moment of inexplicable panic, I was ready to bolt.
The brain’s flight-or-fight response reacts to social threats in exactly the same way it reacts to physical ones. My psychological defences had pieced together the image of a traditional life that I had escaped in Pakistan. In a fraction of a second, the man in front of me was about to become a casualty of my brain’s hasty interpretation that he was somehow a threat.
Let me explain. Patriarchy is deeply embedded in Pakistani society. The social system is underpinned by Islamic and tribal influences in which men hold power over women. Placing constraints on the roles and activities of females, the traditional mindset dictates that women have their place – customarily, it is in the domestic sphere.
In contrast to my own personal experiences, women in Sri Lanka hold a higher position in society in comparison to other South Asian countries. In fact, in 1960, Sri Lanka was the first country in the world to elect a female prime minister.
My subconscious mind had triggered strong emotions. In reality, the only feature that linked this man to my speculative fears of being dominated was the colour of his skin. Embarrassing, but true!
Clear thinking disrupts bias
Psychologist Daniel Kahneman outlines two systems of thinking in his book Thinking, Fast and Slow. System 1 is fast and intuitive. It is automatic and efficient. It seeks to quickly identify patterns, a skill that has been key to human survival but is also prone to mistakes. My System 1 thinking drove my impulse to run from the perceived threat embodied in a South-Asian male. System 1 thinking led me to draw rushed conclusions about his cultural beliefs.
System 2, on the other hand, is slow, deliberate and systematic. It seeks to test concepts and detect complexity and nuance. Kahneman suggests that System 2 articulates judgements and makes choices by endorsing or rationalising ideas and feelings that were generated by System 1.
So, how can we engage in clear thinking without retreating into psychological defenses? We can avoid jumping to conclusions on the instinctive and often sketchy interpretations resulting from System 1 thinking. We need to slow down long enough to question and rationalise our assumptions by consciously activating System 2 thinking. I managed to do this in the restaurant that evening – I didn’t run and was able to process what was playing out for me. I worked to identify the hooks that were keeping me in a habitual pattern of thinking and chose to delve beyond the apparent cues and uncover more about the person in front of me.
As I have learnt, defaulting to mental shortcuts when making decisions about others can have serious negative ramifications. When we typecast people based on their observable traits, we put them in a box which in turn creates certain expectations about how they will behave. We are assuming things about people that may not be true.
So next time, call it out. If you find yourself jumping to conclusions about other people, be it at work or in daily life. Is your thinking fast and intuitive, perhaps a little unwarranted and spurred on by past life events? If so, slow it down and take the time think it through.