I only have sons – three, to be precise. While part of me regrets that my husband and I have not had a daughter, I also feel a certain sense of relief that our children will not have to go through some of the many difficulties that girls of their age will no doubt face.
The UK, and Europe in general, is without any doubt one of the best places in the world to be a woman, if not the best. We can vote, we can work, we can travel, we have access to education, we can own and inherit property, we can speak freely, we are the masters of our own emotional lives. It is often easy to take all this for granted.
And yet while men are able to toy with unlimited options, we still face a series of stark choices. If we do not have children, people assume we are “frustrated”. If we stay at home taking care of our children, it is said we are “not working”. If we have a job, we are portrayed as just “part-time mums”, and sometimes even as bad parents. If we succeed in our professional lives, we’re branded “scary”; if we follow fashion, we’re “shallow”; if we like science, we’re “geeks”; if we read women’s magazines, we’re “fluffy”; and if we defend our rights, we’re “hard”.
It is little wonder that girls struggle, amid so many absurd labels, struggle to identify the right path for them. As it is equally little wonder that, when threatened with that same flurry of labels, many female role models refuse to stick their necks out. Indeed, according to research by Girlguiding UK, 55% of girls aged between 11 and 21 say they feel there are not enough female role models.
That figure is shocking – especially since in reality, there are not only enough female role models, but a surplus of them. In a matter of minutes, I could offer you a list of hundreds of inspirational women. Not all of them dress in Prada (though some do), and not all of them appear in glossy magazines. But that does not make them any less impressive, interesting, strong, accomplished and, frankly, gorgeous.
I believe that every woman has a role model inside her: the role models of our everyday lives. So next week, I will be helping the charity Inspiring the Future to launch a new network to give school girls the chance to meet female role models from apprentices to CEOs, professionals to stay-at-home mums, women in every field and from any background.
We are starting with a career “speed dating” event between 100 girls from state schools all over London and nine highly accomplished women at the very top of their fields.
This is not a one-off. We will also launch a long-running national campaign called Inspiring Women, in order to get all sorts of women, well known and unknown, into schools to share their experiences and to talk about their lives. Teachers and women from all walks of life can register to give an hour a year to visit a school near their home or work to make a difference to young people’s lives.
I am lucky to be invited from time to time to speak at girls’ schools. Yes, it takes time – and it is not always obvious how to fit it into the everyday juggling of children, family, work, occasional travel and helping with (endless) homework. But it is so very worth it. For me, each of those talks has been a shock therapy on optimism: one hour with those girls is enough to convince anybody that the future for women is bright.
The new generation of girls are clever, engaged and curious; they are ambitious, but in a realistic way; they are not afraid of hard work and they are determined to shine. It is our duty to guarantee that all that potential does not go to waste. Those girls should not have to limit their dreams and feel constrained by absurd and demeaning stereotypes. They should rather feel free to aim high – high in their jobs, and high in their lives.
Female role models are there by the legions. You, the woman reading this article, you are one of them.
Give the girls some credit and speak up.
This is an edited extract of a piece that first appeared on The Telegraph’s Wonder Women section. It is published here with permission.