Let's make work-life balance a men's problem, too - Women's Agenda

Let’s make work-life balance a men’s problem, too

I debated whether to include the phrase “a woman’s problem” in the title for this article. Why? Because I’ve found that as soon as I put the word “woman” in front of anything, people tune out. You know what I’m referring to – “women’s issues”, “women’s rights” and the “women’s section” of the newspaper – the stuff that no one (especially men) pay much attention to.

“Not my problem!” they cry, rather too quickly and too gleefully. There is no room for women at the grown-up’s table. No, you can’t pull up a chair and chat with the men, you have your own very small table in the corner where no one can hear you – go over there please and don’t bother us with your incessant chatter. Nothing you have to say could possibly be as important or interesting as our discussion of drone strikes, putters, and how much hair on your balls is too much.

So while I would dearly love for more men to take an interest in “women’s rights” (not least because they are human rights), I’m going to have to rely on the wonderful women who read this article to speak to the men in their lives about these very important, very interesting issues. And we’re not even going to discuss ball-hair! So, let’s talk about work-life balance.

Work-life balance is often characterised as a woman’s problem. I know, I said that phrase again. Hopefully you’re still with me.

The issues of the double shift and disparities in housework and child caring work lead to unmanageable burdens for working women. Engaging in the juggle of professional and family life usually involves an effort to present an image of uninterrupted and undivided dedication. There is a common expectation that you will work late if required to do so. Within many professions, we must be unequivocal in our commitment to the ethos and values of the profession. And we are not only required to work late, we must also build and strengthen our internal and external networks (often outside of usual working hours) that are imperative if we are to progress. Which is usually fine when you’re young, single and childless. In fact, professional women who are childless at age thirty, work hours and earn wages similar to men’s.

Women, it seems, have achieved equality as long as they die childless at age thirty. Hooray for progress.

This is because childcare is characterised as, wait for it, a women’s problem. In Australia, even if you can afford the high cost of child care, ability to access childcare is exceedingly difficult and even so, someone has to pick up the child when the day care centre closes. We are not supposed to have conflicting demands on our time. And let’s not forget who is expected to pay for the cost of childcare – can you believe it, it’s another women’s problem! If I hear or see one more media outlet banging on about how the cost of childcare is affecting women and deducting the cost of it from the mother’s salary I’m going to go crazy.

So try achieving all of the things required to progress when you’re a part-time working mother. No wonder the glass ceiling remains so firmly in place in many organisations. In fact, I would say that most women never get near the glass ceiling; they are stopped, long before, by the maternal wall

Women face gender discrimination in being made to fit into the male dominated work culture to juggle caring responsibilities in a work environment that is modeled on the traditional male breadwinner, stay-at-home wife scenario. Additionally, significant doubts continue to be expressed about the work commitment of female professionals who are also mothers. Similar to the significant doubts that continue to be expressed about women who are beautiful AND smart (impossible!), apparently women can’t be mothers AND work (have you ever heard of a man who is a father AND works?? Wait….).

Such indirect and direct gender discrimination gives rise to the gender pay gap. The pay gap exists for many reasons, and one important reason is that women are over-represented in lower-paid roles and in lower-paid industries: women take on the lower prestige, more flexible work and men are more concentrated in higher paid, less flexible more prestigious areas.

When are we going to finally move on from the workplace culture that is modeled on the traditional male breadwinner, stay-at-home wife scenario? It is outdated in an Australian society where more women than men gain University-level qualifications, a society where women want to work in order to have financial independence, stability and to be challenged intellectually, a society where women are ambitious and want to have long and successful careers. These women are not going to go away. Really. We aren’t.

And what about men who want to play a greater role in their children’s lives (meaning less time spent at work)? In Dorothy Dinnerstein’s seminal 1976 work, The Mermaid and the Minotaur, she argues that men and women should share equally in infant and child care and recent scientific research proves that male parental care shapes the physiology of men. Men are meant to be active fathers and participate in the care of their offspring.

When are our workplaces finally going to enact the changes that are so desperately needed? Visionary leaders such as Westpac’s Gail Kelly lead from the top and as such women’s progress in these organisations seems extraordinary when compared to other institutions. Challenging and changing the status quo is a difficult task and the process is often long and slow. But it’s imperative that positive steps are taken to remove the obstacles that continue to impede equal employment opportunities for women.

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