As you are all acutely aware, it’s that time of year where if you are lucky, work is winding up, schools are closing for the summer break and Christmas and Hanukkah celebrations loom.
If you are anything like me, you have come to somewhat dread it.
The to-do list gets longer by the day and mental load stretches even further as we juggle events, deadlines and gift gathering. And the worst part is, that instead of partaking in said celebrations and enjoying down time, you instead ramp up, plaster on your fake smile and count down the days until you can truly (semi) switch off.
But, have you ever thought about what it might look like if you didn’t stumble to the finish line one year?
If, instead of saying yes to every event, cooking up a storm and handing your partner wrapped gifts for them to give to their family, you took a step back and drew a line to maintain your sanity? And maybe, just maybe even experience a little joy?
What if you had a roster for moving the Elf on the Shelf (or in our case Mere the Maori elf), and took it in turns to get creative about where the (insert explicitive here) Elf ends up the next morning? What if you made deals with family or friends to donate instead of gift this year? Or share a fun experience together. Just imagine the wrapping paper and shopping time you could save!
This Christmas, I for one am making an effort to stop doing everything ‘perfectly’ and instead focusing on ‘good enough’. I’m stripping back the basics to focus on enjoying it all, not falling over the finish line – and I hope you can too.
What does this look like for me?
For starters, I’m focusing on intentional gifts for my loved ones. And not too much excess. The types of gifts that are considered, but won’t break the bank or my mental state in order to make them happen.
I’m also dividing up the gift list responsibilities. Sure, mine may already be complete whilst someone else may do the Christmas Eve dash to the shops to purchase some ‘thoughtful’ vouchers. But with so much going on between home and work, balls are bound to be dropped, and that’s ok.
And if all else fails? Gift cards and takeaways for everyone!
Repeat after me: not the end of the world.
So what are some simple ways you can alleviate your mental load this festive season?
- Get the whole family involved: set up a family meeting to go over everything that needs to get done and delegate including age-appropriate tasks to kids.
- If in doubt, ask: Instead of spending too much time looking for the perfect gift, why not just ask loved ones what they may like or need? It’s amazing how quick a teen nephew can respond to a text when you threaten to make your own daggy arrangements if they don’t give you gift ideas. Better yet, use a fancy app where people share their wish list and then you can just pick at will.
- Share complete tasks, not subtasks: sit down and go over everything that needs to happen between now and Christmas day. And delegate entire tasks, not parts of the task. If someone is responsible for the menu, that means the entire menu – they write the shopping list, go to the shops or order the meat and make sure everything is catered for. And don’t forget the smaller tasks like wrapping presents (and that includes making sure you have enough wrapping paper for both the Santa presents and the family presents that of course look completely different).
- Wait for someone else to take the lead: Dishes to be cleared? Gifts to be put away? Ham to be hidden from the dog? You are not the only person with eyes. Instead of taking a deep breath and instigating the next task, sit back, exhale and let someone else notice and act first. You may just be surprised. If my young sons can notice a bin needs emptying or add items to a grocery list (unprompted!), I have faith if your family too.
Come the big day? At some point when the food has been placed on the table and the wrapping paper has been recycled, sit back and take in the sight of your family all together in one place. Because that’s what it’s really about this season. Oh and not knowing what day it is for a while afterwards.