When Brisbane-based Lorissa became a mum for the first time in late 2023, she felt as prepared as she could for all the love, joy and challenges that lay ahead in motherhood.
But there was something unexpected that struck in the first few months of her son’s life she hadn’t anticipated: a very real sense of loneliness.
“I felt equipped and as prepared as I could be for being a mum in the newborn stage,” Lorissa tells Women’s Agenda.
“But honestly, there’s things that happened [that left me thinking], ‘wow, okay. I was not prepared for that’.
“Loneliness was probably one of the big ones.”
Lorissa is far from alone. The 2024 Medibank Loneliness Population Index found that a major life event – like having a baby – can spur on feelings of isolation. Loneliness and a reduced social network can also fuel perinatal anxiety and depression.
It’s a topic Women’s Agenda will focus on this year as we partner with Medibank to open up a conversation about what mums are navigating right now, especially when it comes to social wellbeing and finding connection.
If you’ve welcomed a child into the world within the past six years, we want to hear from you in this short survey.
Lorissa’s experience of motherhood loneliness was compounded by geography. Her family is interstate, meaning she and her husband were navigating new parenthood largely alone. She did her best to maintain her existing friendships in those early weeks and months, but it wasn’t always that simple.
“It’s only a natural progression that [friendships] evolve and change when you have kids,” she says. “I’ve definitely found that there’s been seasons of friendships that haven’t kept up, so to speak.”
But really, she was looking to build some deeper connections with women who knew innately what she was going through. A midwife suggested community hubs and council mothers’ groups. She went along at first, but they didn’t click. She also tried bub-friendly postpartum pilates, which felt like a good idea in theory but it still wasn’t quite what she was looking for.
“I just wanted to be outside. I just wanted to go for a walk with some mums,” she says.
So at six weeks postpartum, Lorissa went searching on social media. That’s where she found Mum Walk, a free, community-led movement bringing mums together for walks and connection. There was one problem, though: there wasn’t a Brisbane chapter.
Comments beneath posts were full of Brisbane women asking for exactly that. The founder, Kimberly, had put out a challenge: all they needed was someone brave enough to start it.
Lorissa’s first instinct was to keep scrolling. “Instantly I was like, oh no, that’s not me,” she laughs. “Definitely not.”
But she sat with it. And a day later, she reached out to Kimberly.
“Everyone [was] clearly craving the exact same thing I was – which was connection. Those people pretty much wanted to meet me, and I wanted to meet them,” Lorissa said.
“I thought — I could be that brave person, just to make that change and be that safe space for everyone, including myself.”
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‘I knew I was going to need a village’
For new mum Sarah, postpartum loneliness was something she saw coming before she gave birth to her daughter last February.
As someone who was very social and career-driven, Sarah was acutely aware that her life was about to change in a big way. Having recently relocated to Tasmania also meant that she had to start building her community from scratch.
“I’ve always been very busy and social, and I had a real fear of what having a baby was going to look like for me,” Sarah tells Women’s Agenda. “I used to love my job and that gave me a lot of purpose.”
“So I was definitely like: I’m going to need a community. I’m going to need a village.”
At the time, there was no local Mum Walk chapter in Tasmania, but Sarah saw a post that they were looking for local leaders.
“I filed it away in the back of my mind and then [my daughter] Eloise must have been four or five months old when I reached out to Kim,” Sarah says.
The first Mum Walk meet up organised by Sarah was held in the depths of Tasmanian winter and she was pretty sure no one would turn up. That couldn’t have been further from the truth.
“We had 27 mums and prams,” Sarah explains. “[I was] so intimidated. I can’t remember all these names!” she laughs.
“But it’s been pretty consistent ever since. Since November, we’ve had between 30 and 40 every week.”
‘Mum-led and free’
Back in Brisbane, the Mum Walk chapter started by Lorissa has also had steady success. Lorissa says it’s become a real source of connection and friendship that’s helped her fight those initial feelings of loneliness she felt in postpartum.
That doesn’t mean she wasn’t nervous before the first meet-up.
“I actually brought my husband to sit in the car and just wait in case I was the only one that would show up,” Lorissa says. “But I actually ended up having about 17 or 18 mums turn up on the first day, which is pretty amazing.”
For Lorissa, the power of Mum Walk lies in its mum-led, ground-up approach to community building.
“A lot of community groups can feel established or often cliquey in my experience, Mum Walk is designed so that even if it’s your first time and you know no one, you won’t stand alone, there is always going to be a friendly face making sure you feel included,” Lorissa tells Women’s Agenda.
“This community is based around intentional connection, and the key word being intentional because first time and seasoned mums come to these meets with the intention of wanting to meet new mums, wanting to connect with others on relatable life and conversations and wanting to not feel alone anymore in this era of life.”
Sarah feels similarly and also believes the low-effort requirements keep women turning up each week.
“Sometimes I rock up and I haven’t managed to brush my hair. It’s in a messy bun. Like it doesn’t matter,” Sarah says. “No one there is expecting anything of you. If you’re not making sense while you’re walking, it doesn’t really matter, because chances are, they’re sleep deprived as well.
“While you’re walking and talking, it’s an easier way of socialising and it’s a much more low effort.”
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Take our short survey on motherhood and social connection here.
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If you need to speak to someone now, you can reach Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636 or call Lifeline on 13 11 14. New parents can contact the PANDA support helpline on 1300 726 306.
Medibank has made a 10-year commitment to address loneliness in Australia and has partnered with Women’s Agenda to build The Connections Hub, a dedicated space exploring women’s experiences of loneliness and connection.