Almost a third of men deliberately do housework badly so that their partners will not ask them to do them again, a new survey has revealed.
British bathroom company Victoria Plumb proves what many women have long suspected. Their survey of 2,000 people found that 30% of men deliberately botched their domestic duties to avoid being asked to do them again.
The chores these fellows admitted to intentionally performing below par include a few jobs that few of us enjoy: cleaning the toilet, loading the dishwasher and vacuuming.
Given the fact women still perform the lion’s share of unpaid work, unless you are one of the lucky women who lives with a clean freak who pulls their weight on the home front, the results of this study are unlikely to be news to you. But, before you cry foul I want you to have a good look in the mirror and ask yourself this. Are you your own worst enemy?
I’m sorry if I offend, but I want to call this as I see it. I am talking about the mothers who do everything for their kids without teaching them how to manage a home, or don’t insist that their kids and their partners contribute to the household. These are the children who will one day be our children’s partners. I am also talking to the women who perpetuate this “learned laziness” in their partners by not expecting and demanding that they do the job properly.
Housework is a team sport requiring every family member to chip in.
Let’s take the wet towel on the floor example. How many times have you caught yourself asking ‘Why is this wet towel on the floor AGAIN?’ Chances are you’ve asked yourself that several times but what do you actually do? Do you pick the wet towel up off the floor and re-hang it? You know you do this. And if so, is it any wonder that your partner or your kids don’t pick their towels up for themselves? (Or properly vacuum, clean the bathroom and load the dishwasher?) If you lived in a hotel where the towels you left on the bathroom floor were – miraculously it seems – collected, washed, refreshed and re-hung every single day, you would probably leave your towel on the floor too. Be honest.
I am not blaming you for that but I am telling you that you are part of the problem.
Rather than insisting on your family members chipping in and doing the job properly, you suck it up, move on and do the job yourself. Probably seething with resentment because it is a drain on your time and your energy. The Victoria Plumb study supports this: of the men who deliberately did a bad job with the chores most get away with it – 25% admitted they no longer get asked to do the botched jobs again, and 64% said they are now only occasionally asked to help.
Really? Yes. And that’s got to change.
In my next post I will give you some strategies to ensure your partner, and your kids, get the job done. Properly. Can you relate to this? How do you split the domestic duties?