Hilarious, honest and heartwarming are three words to describe Amy Poehler’s new book, Yes Please. The biography is a rollercoaster of chapters, discussing her days at SNL, her show Parks and Recreation, and a collection of stories covering everything from motherhood, to sex, friendship, family, divorce and even plastic surgery.
Poehler has a lot to say. And beneath the humour there are deeper messages offering life advice. Many that can also be applied to your career.
So what can we learn from Amy Poehler?
Poehler on Self Esteem
The chapter ‘plain girl vs. the demon’ is an honest look at the ‘demon’ of self-doubt that lives inside every woman. “‘I hate how I look’. That is the mantra we repeat over and over again … the voice that talks badly to you is the demon voice,” writes Poehler.
Poehler tells of her snooping through a boyfriend’s journal to find that he described her as ‘funny, but not that pretty’. Instead of being upset about what you don’t have, Poehler says, you should find your strength and own it.
“Decide what your currency is early. Let go of what you will never have. People who do this are a lot happier and sexier “
Poehler explains that she made a decision early on that she would be the plain looking girl with the huge personality – and look where it got her!
“Some people give their demon so much room … They feed their demon and it gets really strong and then it makes them stay in abusive relationships or starve their beautiful bodies.”
Poehler on careers
We’ve all had bad relationships with boys or girls. You know, the types that don’t call you back, that don’t love you, that continually don’t give anything in return. Poehler says the idea of a ‘bad boyfriend’ can be mirrored to your work.
“Treat your career like a bad boyfriend” says Poehler.
“Your career wont take care of you. It won’t call you back or introduce you to its parents. Your career will openly flirt with other people while you are around.”
She reminds us that we should work hard, but not get too hung up about the outcomes: “You have to care about your work, but not about the result. You have to care about how good you are and how good you feel, but not about how good people think you are or how good people think you look.”
She also reminds us that you are not permanently married to this ‘bad boyfriend’: “If your career is a bad boyfriend, it is healthy to remember you can always leave and go to sleep with somebody else”
Poehler on Pregnancy
Poehler’s insights into the world of pregnancy are both honest and hilarious.
“Trying to get pregnant is the most vulnerable thing in the world,” says Poehler. “You have to openly decide you are ready and then you have to put sperm in your vagina and elevate your legs like you are an upside down coffee table.”
She describes the baby as a ‘built in sidekick’ and said she never felt alone, and ‘always had a companion’.
Her story about the dramatic birth (her OB/GYN died the day before she was due), suggests we should be prepared for anything during a pregnancy.
“When you are pregnant, you can get away with a lot of shit,” Poehler says. “Women are really at their most dangerous during this time. Your hormones are telling you that you are strong and sexy, everyone is scared of you, and you have a built-in side-kick who might come out at any minute.”
Poehler on not judging other women
“Good for her, not for me” proclaims Poehler, “That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again.”
In discussing woman-on-woman crime, Poehler applies this motto to things such the as debates about breast-feeding and birth plans, as well as the ‘mummy wars’ between stay at home mothers and those who’re working.
“There is an unspoken pact that women are supposed to follow. I am supposed to act like I constantly feel guilty about being away from my kids. (I don’t. I love my job). Mothers who stay at home are supposed to pretend they are bored and wish they were doing more corporate things. (They don’t. They love their job).”
So the next time you are ‘struck over the head by someone else’s bullshit”, instead of judging them, remember “good for her, not for me”.
Poehler on technology
In her conclusion, Poehler reminds us that technology is taking over our worlds and we will soon be overhauled by robots. Here are a few (of many) insights about mobile phones.
1. My phone does not want me to finish this book
2. My phone does not want me to have friends
3. My phone wants me to feel bad about how I look
4. My phone wants to show me things I shouldn’t see
5. My phone wants me to love it more than my children
Poehler on sex
Who knew Amy Poehler is also an expert on sex! Not only does she give fantastic, raw sex advice for women, but also men. Here are a few of her tips from her ‘world-famous sex advice’:
– Try not to fake it
– Don’t have sex with people you don’t want to have sex with
– You have to have sex with your husband occasionally
And for the men:
– Be nice, tell your woman she is hot, never shame her, and never hurt her
– Cool it on the porn and jerking off
Overall, Yes Please is a fantastic, lighthearted yet insightful page-turner. Not only does Poehler leave you laughing, she’ll also leave you with great advice and wanting to be a better version of yourself.