Last week, for the first time, I entered a public debate on gender equality. I’d been motivated by the amazing speech given by actress Emma Watson, when she launched the HeForShe campaign at the United Nations in September.
I just wish Emma’s speech came with a warning that blokes who do speak up about gender equality aren’t immune from the vitriol and hate that is often directed at women who speak out against sexism and misogyny.
Last Tuesday, as a Councillor on Sydney’s Ryde Council, I went public with my concerns that Council had been supporting a beauty pageant run by local newspaper The Weekly Times. The paper asks girls and young women between 13 and19 to submit a photo and list of hobbies to enter the Granny Smith Festival Miss Teen Queen Competition.
My message was pretty simple; competitions which pit girls and young women against each other based on how they look are archaic and out of touch with our modern values. Our elected bodies should have no part in supporting them, is what I thought.
Three radio interviews and one heated Council debate later, I’d been called a nitwit, a galoot (I had to consult google on the meaning of this one), a killjoy and a wanker. I was even accused of being a misogynist.
I was spared the depth of bile that is directed towards women when they speak out on gender. No one started an elaborate death hoax about me as they did Emma Watson after her speech (to be fair though, I’m not sure a death hoax about me would really grab much attention). I escaped the insults thrown at my female predecessor when she was accused of “tiara-envy” after raising the same concerns.
With the benefit of hindsight, I can see that I actually got off pretty lightly.
The fascinating aspect of the beauty pageant furore was the way that opponents of my opinion fought back. The Teen Queen competitions in Ryde have all the glitz and glamour of a beauty pageant; the tiara, the sashes, the bouquets given to all the finalists, and the fact that only girls are invited to enter. They ask girls to enter by submitting a photo and a list of their hobbies.
Yet, in the face of the overwhelming evidence that this was a beauty pageant, we were witnesses to the spectacle of supporters trying to convince us it wasn’t a beauty pageant at all.
“How could you call this a beauty pageant?” they asked with confected outrage. “There’s no swimsuit competition” they retorted. “We ask contestants all kinds of questions about their charity work and life ambitions” they remarked. It was like watching my niece insist she hadn’t spilt the milk despite being the only one in the room.
It’s testament to the progress we have made on some of these issues that the only plausible defense of beauty pageants is to deny their existence altogether. Despite the bruising experience, and the fact that Ryde Council narrowly voted to continue endorsing these events, the fact that no one in the entire debate could bring themselves to actually defend these archaic events means the world isn’t ending.
Often, when challenging male perspectives on gender equality, we ask men to imagine spending a day in a woman’s shoes. I am beginning to believe there might be more to learn if we ask men to spend a day in the shoes of a vocal supporter of women’s equality.
For the men who still hold on to the idea that gender inequality doesn’t exist, on any given day, speak out publicly about wage equality, female representation on boards, or domestic violence. Feel the intensity of abuse hurled at you, magnify it by a hundred and than ask yourself whether gender inequality is no longer a thing.
For the men who agree that gender equality matters, it’s time to get off the sidelines and take some action. Sign the pledge at heforshe.org, download the resources on how you can play a role, petition your employer to conduct a pay audit, support White Ribbon Day, speak out about the inequality you see. The backlash I received when I spoke out has fired me up about this battle more than ever, and there is something I can do about it. I’m taking action and I want as many men alongside me in that battle as women.