Why ambitious women should be resilient, fluid and focused - Women's Agenda

Why ambitious women should be resilient, fluid and focused

We asked a number of leading women who are speaking at the upcoming She Leads conference what they’d like younger women to know about navigating the career in front of them. Below, Yolanda Vega shares her thoughts on the importance of honing your intuition, resilience, flexibility, and courage.

According to SmartCompany’s annual list of Australia’s top 30 entrepreneurs, just five are women.

With a plethora of unbalanced data out there confirming this pattern around the world, it’s no surprise that I am often approached by young women with questions like: ‘How do I get to where I want to go?’

“I know many great girls with the potential to do so much for their future, but confidence is a big issue for them,” explained Lily, a 20 year old law student when I asked what was holding her back.

“We have the knowledge but we need someone, a role model, to tell us how we should use our skills to our advantage. Unfortunately at university, mentors are provided only to those who can’t make it on their own.”

Role models seem to be one of the remedies commonly identified. Although there are women in the spotlight, the next generation of potential leaders are often unable to access the few they see shining in the limelight. And our educational institutions are failing to provide what is needed in the real world.

Lily said that her female friends were more likely to follow others, compared to her male friends, because once women hit a barrier, they gave up. Their self-confidence hits a low, they lose their sense of direction and there’s no one around to mentor them.

Regardless of the road young women take, the most important element, in my experience, is courage. One must remember that ‘No is Negotiable’ and go against the tide if need be.
In order to get to where you want to be, you need to identify the destination; there may be many destinations along the path so an open mind and heart are vital.

Having a clear vision and a map of where you want to go will make the journey far more dynamic. There are many paths available to wherever you want to go, the challenge is choosing which road to take in order to arrive at your set destination.

I often recall what Lewis Carroll said: “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.”

There are people and websites that will give ‘free advice’. Remember, however, that their experiences are not yours. You are the master of your own destiny and you need to determine what is best for you. Listen to the advice of others, but ensure it fits in with your dreams and that it sits well in both your heart and gut.

Logic may attempt to take over, but as women, we must listen to our inner voice — our intuition. Logic should not be the only consideration when making a decision. Your decision to take a specific path must be holistic. Will it allow you to fulfil your physical, emotional and financial expectations? If you know what you want and you keep your eyes on the goal, you will make it there. Perseverance is everything!

Unfortunately, there is no direct route to reach your goal and we all encounter obstacles along the way. There are distractions that will mystify and at times, that old saying that ‘life is what happens when you are making other plans’ can knock you back.

If you can’t get back on track, the plans may need to change; a new road may need to be taken and a new map will have to be drawn. Don’t be afraid of change, for that which does not change will wither away and die.

“For many young women,” explained Lily, “we wish to pursue high leadership roles. It is intimidating, though, because there are very few female leaders in positions we can aspire to.

“Instead, we are led to believe that there is no room for us, and there is no one around to show us what our future will look like. This makes us feel that we are inadequate for many roles,” she said, with a tiny hint of defeat in her voice.

Unforeseen situations will often be encountered, but the hard times are what we learn from the most. It is pain that teaches us how to be stronger and strength helps each and every one of us along the way.

Taoist philosophers believe that humans should be flexible and unrelenting in order to find what really drives us. A verse from the books of Tao states: “Be as water, as you are, flowing to where you go, unafraid of high or low.”

Learning to adapt to our surroundings even when there are barriers and distractions is not easy, but it can and must be done. As women, we need to be resilient, fluid and focused on arriving at our chosen destination, just like water.

Don’t stop to abuse the rock that is in the way; don’t stop to complain about the tree that has fallen in your path; don’t whine about the rocks below; there’s no point! Find a way around it, over it, between them which allows you to flow to where you need to go.

So, girls, be like water. Don’t delay the decision, don’t stay away from the obstacles you face. Take them head on or go around them. Regardless of what you decide to do to get there you will find yourself on the road to where you want to be once you know where you are going; no rush and no pause.

Flow and enjoy the ride.

Yolanda Vega is speaking at the She Leads conference in Canberra on May 13. See more on the event here.

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