I get along well with my work colleagues and generally find being part of a team easy. At the moment, however, I am butting heads with one of my co-workers who can be prickly and rude. I am not the only person who finds this colleague tricky but I am wondering what is the best way to handle it?
This is a tricky situation, one that I have found myself in more than once. I have a couple of questions, then a few possible solutions, for you to think about.
Has there been a time when you and this colleague did get on? If so, think back to what worked well then, and see if you can replicate it now. Sometimes people at work are alright to work with most of the time, but can flare up over certain situations. And you might never know what it is about. Trying to pinpoint a time or circumstances when everything was going well, may give you insight into strategies you can use to diffuse their rudeness.
Has this person always been a problem? We have all experienced those people in the office, who for want of a better word, are pains in the ass. They are rude to everyone, really hard to work with, everything seems to annoy them and they make every work project more difficult than it needs to be. And they can be the workplace bully at the extreme. This is where it gets tricky. There are clearly multiple people who are finding this person challenging, so it is not just a personality issue between the two of you. There are a few alternate scenarios you could consider.
Firstly, a brilliant team member I used to have, in a quite a complex and combative work environment, used to focus on ‘working the process, not the person’. Meaning that when she found herself dealing with really difficult people, and there were many of them in this large organisation, she would keep her focus on the process she was working through, the project she was trying to deliver, and not on the person who was causing the issues. By doing this, she was able to better keep herself emotionally removed from the stress of the interpersonal contact, and focus on the outcome by working the process. This is the first thing I would try.
Second option, is you could try to candidly but kindly speak to this person about what it is that is upsetting them at work. Now this comes with a warning label, and is not always advisable, but if there has been a time when you have gotten along with this person, then it might be an option to pull them aside, express your concern at your working relationship, and see if there is any way to smooth things over. You just never know what is going on with someone that might be making them act rudely. It is no excuse, but sometimes a kind word or an offer of compassion can go along way. But as I said, handle this one with care and know what you are getting into.
The final thing I would say is that if you and your colleagues all feel that the situation and behaviour is untenable, then I would consider speaking with your manager about it and see if there is anything that can be done at that level. This is particularly relevant if there is aggressive or bullying behaviour going on, in which case I would go straight to this suggestion.
We all need to act professionally and get along, but if this is impacting your work in a way that is making you uncomfortable or impacting your productivity, then by all means, ask for help addressing it.