I’ve commenced a new role with a new employer. I’m waiting for a colleague to relocate and then will move into that office. In the interim, I have a desk in the open. Why is it everyone assumes you are a PA, EA or office admin person? In particular, visiting male executives barking instructions for you to ‘change their flight details’ or ‘organise a car for them’. I have managed to bat these away by politely pointing them in the right direction. I just wonder if they would make the same assumption of a man sitting at the same desk. Any advice?
You’re right, I have never seen this happen to a man. Unfortunately, there was a time when many women in the office were indeed secretaries, and some dinosaurs from the dark ages (i.e. the men who are ‘barking’ orders at you), clearly need to go back there. Avoiding stereotypes by visiting colleagues, especially where you don’t have the opportunity to make yourself known in the role you are in, can be a challenge. Especially if they have the manners of a two year old.
There is no excuse for this, but you still need to try and handle the situation with grace, which is what it sounds like you have been doing.
There are a few options you can consider. While you are waiting for the office to become available, is it possible to move locations so you are not so clearly out in the open and in the firing range of passers by?
Another option would be to continue to direct people on. You could put a quirky humourous sign on your desk to direct people to the right person (without offending the PA’s, and let’s face it, you don’t want to do that in a new office).
Or the easiest option, would be to have your standard line ready with a smile on your face and simply say, “I would so love to help you with that, unfortunately that’s not my role, but Donna over there will take the best possible care of you”. And then get back to your work.
But there may be something deeper going on here for you, which could be why this is bothering you enough to write in with this question.
Sometimes when a comment really bothers us, it is because it is rubbing against some belief about ourselves. I would spend some time thinking about what it is that is bothering you about being asked this. Is it just the stereotype in question that is bothering you, or is it something more? Do some inner work about why these requests get under your skin so much.
Start to notice when these requests are being made, how do you feel and what is the inner dialogue going in your head. We all have inner self talk, and it wouldn’t be unreasonable to have such questions pop into your mind such as, ‘What will it take for people to value me’ or ‘Cant these people see how important I am’, or ‘Why doesn’t anyone ever take me seriously’ or even ‘Why doesn’t anyone show me respect’. Start to notice what is going on in your head, and importantly, how long that dialogue continues after someone has asked you this question.
If it’s simple as implementing one of the suggestions above, then that’s great. It there is a deeper need to be met here, then do the work so that you can address why you have such an emotional trigger around this, and how you can deal with it and let it go.