Dear Ex,
You may be sitting there wondering where it all went wrong. Was it your infantile humor or your addiction to computer games? They were factors but the big problem was money, not love.
After years of being the sensible one financially I got sick of being the grown up.
After a while I grew tired of you begging for a computer game like my eight-year-old nephew. I resented you pushing to buy a car you simply couldn’t afford. Even that line “I’ll be the stay at home Dad, you just need to have the baby and then go back to work” worried me.
On the off-chance you read this I have prepared some tips, a few things I wish I had said earlier. It will help you and it might save your future girlfriends from running for the hills.
- A career woman is not a financial plan. You’re an adult. That means you need to learn to live within your own financial means and have your own financial plan. Don’t rely on your girlfriend’s hard work and financial independence to fund yours.
- Don’t let her find out about money you owe to your brother over Christmas lunch. She will feel embarrassed when your brother, who is understandably furious, tells everyone you stopped making your repayments to him six months ago.
- Stop spending every spare cent you have, or don’t have, on new computers, consoles and gadgets.
- Don’t accompany her on holidays and then don’t pull your wallet out once. Her savings are no less valuable than yours just because she earns more.
- Instead of complaining that you wish you were still in a job where you had no responsibility be grateful that you were encouraged to take on a new job.
- If you believe you can make your dreams of a business venture happen be prepared to take the risk yourself. It is not up to your girlfriend – or anyone else – to put their financial future on the line to let you chase your dream.
- This may be too late, but don’t buy your friends and family overpriced Christmas presents with her money.
- See a financial planner (but not me!)
This might seem trivial but for me your attitude towards money was a deal-breaker. I hope it doesn’t have to be for your next girlfriend.
Dominique