Finding myself in the grips of looking after a loved one with a chronic health condition, wasn’t on my bingo card for 2025. And yet, here I am. It’s May, and for the past six months this has been my reality.
I know I’m not alone. Women disproportionately shoulder both paid and unpaid care work in this country. Whether it be children, elderly parents, or a loved one facing a health battle, we’re naturally inclined to put others first. But when we do that at the expense of our own wellbeing, everything else starts to suffer—and I promise, I speak from experience.
For months, in a bid to keep all the balls in the air, I’ve been sidelining my own basic health needs. I stopped going for my morning walks, I started self-medicating with evening wine/s and I regularly skipped meals.
Shock horror, my self-neglect resulted in very real, physical, unignorable symptoms.
For starters, I’ve lost weight without trying, and my sleep has become increasingly fragmented. I’ll wake up feeling just as tired as when I went to bed, unable to shake the sense of exhaustion that lingers throughout the day. I’ve also found my mental clarity going down the gurgler. I forget things and lose track of conversations. (Not great for someone who interviews people for a living).
But while the physical symptoms were obviously a concern, it was my parenting guilt that ended up trumping things and making me reprioritise.
I have two children (two and five), who don’t deserve to have a nervous, exhausted, snappy and unhappy mum. And I also want them to understand that no matter what the course of life, no matter how many curveballs are thrown, it’s never okay to relegate yourself.
This experience has shown me, more than ever, how essential it is for women, especially mums, to make time for themselves. Not just with a hot shower and some placatory chocolate, but with a real investment into health and wellbeing.
I used to look at people who exercised daily and think: “how do they get the time?” Now I think: “Good f**king on them. They’re probably a hell of a lot more powerful and productive.”
I’ve also stopped putting this off for myself. It’s not linear or perfect, but I try really hard to do some form of exercise each day—even if it’s just a 15-minute YouTube Pilates class. I’m trying to drink water, get up and stretch and eat more than just Pringles for dinner.
It wasn’t until I decided to take control of my health again that things started to shift. I was recently gifted a wearable health tracker, the Ultrahuman Ring Air, which monitors sleep, recovery, and movement. The ring has become a vital tool for me in understanding what’s really going on with my body.
Each day, I receive actionable insights into my sleep patterns and how my body is recovering from stress. I can now see how sleep—or the lack thereof—directly impacts my energy levels, my mood, and even my mental clarity. Tracking my activity has also given me a clearer understanding of when I need to rest and when I should push myself to move.
It has highlighted how stressed I’ve been over the past few months and shown me how little rest I’ve been getting. I’ve learned that my body is more sensitive to stress than I thought, and I need to give it more time to recover each day. This information has been a wake-up call, reminding me that if I don’t take care of myself, my body will eventually stop working as it should.
This Mother’s Day, I want to remind all women—whether you’re a mother, a daughter, a caregiver, or all of the above—that we have to take care of ourselves first. If we don’t, nothing else works.
When we’re constantly on the go, it’s easy to forget that self-care isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity. And it doesn’t always have to mean taking hours away from your busy schedule. Even small actions like prioritising sleep, staying hydrated, getting some fresh air, or taking short breaks during the day can make a big difference in how we feel and function. Using tools like wearables or journaling about our health can help us stay connected to our bodies and provide a much-needed check-in to ensure we’re not ignoring our own needs.
Only when we prioritise our wellbeing can we truly show up for those we love and take on the demands of daily life without it compromising our health any further.
Note: The Ultrahuman Ring Air was gifted for review purposes.