Earlier this week I stumbled across a document that a Wall Street investment banker generously prepared for the incoming cohort of interns. It got me thinking, wouldn’t a similar document be valuable for women?
- Be yourself. This is incredibly important. It’s even more important that “yourself” is as close to the prevailing leader in your field as possible. Technically, of course, we support “diversity” but we do prefer people like ourselves. People who don’t ask the questions we don’t like asked. People who don’t bang on about doing things differently. People who behave the way we expect people to behave. If you can fit “yourself” around those provisos you will go far.
- Ask for more money. There’s a gender pay gap in Australia and it’s growing. Who do you think is responsible for closing it? You! Don’t look at us. If you don’t ask for more money how could we possibly be expected to pay you fairly or equally?
- Don’t ask for too much money. You don’t want to come across as greedy or pushy.
- Speak up. Those around you can’t be expected to recognise your talents, achievements and hard work if you don’t speak up. Be proactive about ensuring those around you, and even those higher up, are aware of your skills.
- Don’t speak up too loudly. No one likes a loud voice – and especially not if it’s shrill. Speak up by all means but do it softly. Don’t speak up to disagree with someone or suggest a better idea than a male peer because that will make your co-workers uncomfortable. If your male peer is being paid 30% more than you it’s important you give him the opportunity to suggest better ideas.
- Consider your merits Miss out on a promotion again? Excluded from important meetings? Struggling to be noticed by anyone higher up? Instead of looking for evidence of discrimination – direct or indirect – be honest with yourself. Scrutinise your ration of merit. Are you a male? Are you called David or Peter? Did you play rugby? Did you attend a private school? If you answered “no” to any of these questions you need to be realistic. You have less “merit” than others do. Adjust your expectations accordingly.
- Don’t allow yourself to be bullied or harassed As it is with pay equality, if you expect certain standards to be adhered to, the onus is on you to enforce them. Don’t put up with inappropriate behaviour and don’t even consider complaining about bullying or harassment or inappropriate conduct. It is your responsibility to ensure it doesn’t take place.
- Take a joke! (Even unfunny ones) Sure “Greg” might have grabbed your bum/ described you as sexy/ sent some porn around to you and your co-workers, but what do you expect? Aren’t we allowed to have some fun? What sort of joyless environment do you want to work in? Sure there’s a place for appropriate behaviour. It’s in employment policy booklets. In the workplace itself “jokes” – however sexist, lewd or unfunny are expected to be tolerated. As a rule of thumb, the more senior the “joker” is, the “funnier” you are expected to perceive them.
- Choose children wisely. It’s really important that you consider your biological imperative as a woman and take stock of the consequences of how you approach it. If you don’t have children, obviously, you will be considered cold and heartless by your peers and the community. If you do have children and continue to commit to your career in the same way you always have you will be considered cold and selfish by your peers and the community. If you have children and adjust your working habits you will be considered selfish by those outside the workplace and slack by those inside it.
- Be patient. One day women may well be represented equally in senior ranks in Australian workplaces. That day is a long way off (at least another 300 years in Perth) so be patient. By all means form a diversity taskforce, host women’s events and talk openly about gender equality, but be realistic. In time, the compelling empirical evidence about the social and economic advantages of diversity will win out, but don’t rush it. Some of us are earning upwards of 40% more than our female peers just for showing up: why would you want to take that away from us? Why would we let you?
Armed with these 10 commandments, women are guaranteed to progress smoothly through the workplace to the extent that is possible. Got any other valuable tips?