Many times this year, I have found myself thinking back to 2007 when as the very new, very green Executive Director of the National Committee for UNIFEM (now UN Women) I was often asked to speak at corporate, government and community events on the issue of gender equality. Numerous times, these invitations were caveated by an awkward conversation with the organiser requesting that I ‘tone down’ comments on violence against women, for fear that the topic made people uncomfortable.
Of course, being asked not to mention violence against women meant I usually chose to focus my remarks entirely on what I see as the greatest human rights abuse of our time. At every event, women would approach me afterwards sharing their stories of violence, abuse, fear and isolation. Needless to say, I was rarely invited back to those events.
I could never have imagined that 9 years later, we would be having a national conversation about violence against women.
We are at a moment in history. The Federal and State Governments are reviewing laws and policies and to some extent, investing in programs that will challenge individual and community attitudes that perpetuate violence. Australians have, I hope, paused and listened to Rosie Batty as she has dedicated her time to share her story, to advise government and business and to share her vision of a world where men and women were treated equally. Women such as Elizabeth Broderick and Natasha Stott Despoja have used their national profiles to focus our attention on the entirely preventable but somehow widely accepted practice of domestic violence. Business leaders for the first time have collectively acknowledged that violence against women is a workplace issue and are working to implement policies to support employees who have experienced violence.
Awareness is critical. If nothing else, the fact that people are talking about violence against women in workplaces, coffee shops and at dinner tables around Australia, may mean that women who are experiencing violence may feel a little less lonely, a little more able to ask for help, a little more likely to be noticed, supported and empowered. Additional media reporting will, I hope, start to mean that we have a greater understanding of the root causes of violence, the complexity of violent and controlling relationships and we tone down our questioning of the women experiencing violence, and ramp up our interrogation of the perpetrators violent behaviours. Today, on White Ribbon Day, I think Australia can celebrate 2015 as a year of significantly increased awareness about violence against women.
What I am less sure of, is whether we’ve taken the next step. Whether as a community, we understand our role in violence against women, as bystanders. Whether we have equipped ourselves with the tools to intervene when we see an escalation in a bar, or hear our neighbours having a fight or are part of a conversation which degrades women.
I don’t believe that any child grows up wanting to be a perpetrator of violence. We know that role modelling, fundamentally understanding gender equality and what it means to treat someone equally with dignity and respect and managing controlling or aggressive behaviours are all factors that will reduce the likelihood of relationships categorised by violence. But these issues are still not part of the school curriculum, they are not widely discussed in sporting teams or other trusted community leaders. There is a risk that we assume that being aware of violence against women is enough and we know that it isn’t.
Over the next decade, the focus of our efforts needs to be on prevention. We need to build a common understanding of what the ‘critical success factors’ are and then we need to invest in implementation. ‘Change the story: A shared framework for the primary prevention of violence against women and their children in Australia’, developed by Our Watch, is the start of this. Imagine if every parent enrolling their child in school was given a brochure about violence supporting attitudes, violence against women and how to have conversations with their children about gender equality and respectful relationships. Imagine if at every school, there were conversations about gender inequality, power and control and how these issues impacted women and men’s lives in this country. Imagine if every employer was not only providing support to employees experiencing violence, but was also actively coaching employees who were at risk of perpetrating violence, and supporting all employees to understand how to intervene should they witness violence. Imagine if precursor crimes, the strangulation of a woman for example, were considered specific offences and came with such significant penalties that perpetrators were identified before a woman is found dead, as is being considered in Queensland. Imagine if every state established specialist domestic violence courts.
None of these things are impossible to achieve. But they require significant commitment and investment. They require us to hear the experts, the women who have worked in the DV sector for decades and know how best to support women experiencing violence, the experts who work with perpetrators and people at risk of perpetrating violence. They require us not to get fatigued of the stories that we are hearing and are overwhelmed by. They require us to do more than hold events and raise awareness.
This International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, we should celebrate the fact that we are, as a nation, acknowledging that we have a problem and that more needs to be done. But as individuals, we should each be renewing our personal commitment to ensuring that our communities no longer accept violence against women as a societal norm. So what can you that will really make a difference?
- Donate to a charity that is working to support women who have experienced violence, or to prevent violence through programs targeting men and boys. Despite the national media attention, despite significant work being done by Governments, this sector remains dangerously under-funded
- Encourage your employer to consider implementing a policy on domestic and family violence that provides support for employees experiencing violence and outlines services, additional leave provisions and articulates acceptable behaviours expected of all employees
- Start a discussion in your workplace about how you might begin a conversation about perpetrator behaviour. We have seen greater focus on supporting victims of violence, but there is much more work needed to be done to understand how to prevent violence from occurring
- Watch one of Jackson Katz’s videos about male power and violence against women. Educate yourself about the causes of violence, control and power. Seek to understand the experience of women, so that you can talk with friends and family about these issues
- Speak to your sons about healthy relationships, about their expectations of power, about aggression and about where they can read more about how to be a man who respects and empowers women
Violence against women is not an inevitable part of our community. It is entirely preventable, and we should all aspire not just to reduce violence against women, but to eliminate it, in the next generation. Our actions and investment today, in this moment in history, can change the future for our daughters.