A strange thing happened in Sydney last week: Men outnumbered women at an event discussing gender equality.
It probably helped that there was a male speaker involved, one of the globe’s leading thinkers on masculinity, Dr Michael Kimmel. He was there to launch a series of workshops with TalkPoint discussing how gender equality is not actually a zero-sum game, and could in fact be the best thing that ever happened to men.
Best thing that happened to men? Now that’s a great start for getting men engaged in gender equality and seemingly it worked for Kimmel, who managed to get a wide range of businessmen thinking about what more they could be doing in the workplace to change – and benefit – from better distributing the load at home and in the office.
Kimmel quoted plenty of statistics that highlight how gender equality benefits both men and women. It’s in the interests of countries (the more gender equal they are, the higher they score on the happiness index), of companies and of men. It’s a win win for everyone.
Indeed, one comprehensive study found that men who share the housework and childcare with their female partners experience a significant range of benefits. Their children are healthier, happier and do better in school. Their partners are also happier, more satisfied and report less depression. Meanwhile, the men themselves experience physical and psychological benefits – they even report having more sex.
But it all starts with acknowledging the issue. Privilege is invisible to those who have it, Kimmel said, and we need to move beyond traditional ideas of what it means to be a “real man” to what it means to be a “good man”.
In the workplace, and at home, Kimmel had plenty of ideas for what men can do to help, starting with looking at what women are doing and taking on some of those roles: by taking parental leave, working flexibly, and taking on more of the domestic work.
In fact, if we could ‘de-genderise’ a whole lot of areas – like childcare, parental leave and flexibility – we could make a whole lot of progress for improving and supporting how we all work. Currently, these issues are considered ‘women’s issues’ but they belong to both genders.
Kimmel added that men should call out discrimination when they see it, and discuss the topic of gender equality with male colleagues and friends. He wants to see more men openly involved in the issue and going public regarding how they want women to thrive.
Meanwhile, gender equality could benefit from men being more vulnerable with each other and being empowered to discuss how they’re feeling. “We need to learn how to lean on each other,” Kimmel said. “I’m not asking men to be different, I’m asking men to be more authentically themselves.”
Gender equality makes good business sense, plenty of research is available as evidence. But we need to reframe the discussion from how much it will cost to how much it will cost not to do it.
We also need to reframe who benefits. This is not only a matter of improving the lives of women and girls (although that will certainly happen), it’s about improving the lives of everyone.
On Women’s Agenda, we know from readership surveys that less than 5% of our audience is male, and appreciate that’s what happens when you include the word ‘women’ in your publication name.
Still, these suggestions from Kimmel can be passed on to the men in your lives. To our partners, our friends, our colleagues and, most importantly, our sons.
As Kimmel said: To empower girls and women, we need to engage with boys and men.
Gender equality is good for everyone.
Special thanks to Nicklas Wikblad, who attended this event on behalf of Women’s Agenda.