On declaring you’ll be number one: Would you do it? - Women's Agenda

On declaring you’ll be number one: Would you do it?

Do you ever tell yourself that you’re going to be the number one person in your field? The CEO of a large company? The most important person in your organisation? A key elected official? The best at a particular activity?

It’s a question Sheryl Sandberg raises in her book Lean In and one she asked during a recent lecture to female college students where just a small percentage of those in the room stood up to declare their ultimate ambition was to be “number one”.

Sandberg says women will rarely give a positive response to such questions due to one or more of three key reasons: they don’t believe they have the skills or are smart enough to get there (the Imposter Syndrome); they think expressing such ambition is distasteful and could lead to being disliked; they’re weighing up internally how they’ll achieve such ambitions while raising a family at the same time.

These three reasons are basically the crux of Sandberg’s book. She uses a range of personal stories, studies and data to make the point that such issues have for too long been preventing women from “leaning in” to achieve leadership positions, and urges women to give themselves permission to shoot for being the best. She wants women to have the ambition to lead, to not let decisions about having a family affect what they want from their careers, to seek life partners who will support their career ambitions (the “sexiest men in the world are those who do the laundry”, she says) and to find the confidence to believe they have the skills, attributes and intelligence to get where they want to go.

The “number one” question is also partially the crux of criticism lobbed at Sandberg with many commentators saying not all women (or men) have such ambitions, nor should they be expected to. Sandberg counteracts this by declaring it’s not about becoming a high-profile leader, but rather believing and declaring you can achieve a significant level of success in whatever you choose to do.

I know of plenty of women who find expressing ambition difficult – or simply avoid stretching their own career ambition due to the impact it could have on their (often future) personal lives. Sandberg’s three reasons could explain why this is the case. While the Lean In organisation, mentors, sponsors, career advisers and this publication offer plenty of strategies to help, simply coming to terms with how those three reasons — feeling like a fraud, putting future family considerations first and worrying how opening declaring our ambition could reflect negatively on us – is a very good start for us to think internally about what we really believe we can do. It’s empowering to consider what hinders our ambition – and to know that you’re not alone.

Have you ever told yourself you’re going to be number one, or the best at something? Does anything hold you back from doing so?

Click here to watch Sheryl Sandberg’s full address.

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