The comments and visuals that seriously affect our ambitions

We’re about 24 hours away from finding out if, after a very long succession of 44 men, a woman will be named the 45th president of the United States.

One can only wonder how many times Hillary Clinton’s ambition to become the first female president were put down by other people. Even now, after years in public office, some are questioning her qualifications for the role. I heard a man interviewed by the ABC over the weekend who said that while he’d never leave his eight-year-old daughter in the same room as Donald Trump, he would still vote for him over Hillary Clinton. A woman couldn’t possibly make decisions that affect the military, he said.

Despite such opinions, the very fact a woman’s name is on the ballot paper is significant, and her presence campaigning during the election has already played a role in inspiring women and girls into leadership. According to a Pollfish poll published by the New York Times late last week, almost a quarter of 14 to 17-year-old girls say Clinton’s presence in the race has made them more likely to seek leadership positions. Trump’s presence? Well nearly half say his comments about women have affected how they think about their bodies.

As the Times writes, “They are too young to vote, but old enough to follow the news” and who they see in the news matters, as do the messages they take in regarding gender roles, body image, and appearance.

Such messages, positive or otherwise, continue to affect us long after high school and take forms beyond just those that we see in the news. They can be as simple as a one-liner from a boss or colleague. It’s what you make of such comments that really matters.

Over the weekend, Australian business journalist Juliette Saly shared on Facebook her latest career high, making her global television hosting debut with Bloomberg, based in Hong Kong. She posted it as a reminder to never let anyone talk you out of your dreams. “Five years ago a manager asked where I saw myself in five years time,” she wrote. “I said I’d like to be living overseas, working on-air for a global business network. He scoffed and told me to lower my dreams and expectations before patronisingly giving me a list of self-help books to read. (Side note – this manager did not meet his three month probation).”

I was so excited to see this from Juliette, who I first met a couple of years ago when she was freelancing for Women’s Agenda. The last time I saw her in early 2015 she shared the news that she was moving to Hong Kong to take up a maternity contract with Bloomberg — she’d been given a big opportunity overseas and was dropping everything to take it. Last night I asked her about that decision. “I was freelancing in 2014 when the opportunity to take a four to six month maternity contract at Bloomberg in Hong Kong came up,” she told me. “I grabbed it with both hands – because I’d always wanted to work at Bloomberg (I’d had plenty of ‘no thanks’ and ‘don’t call us, we’ll call you’ letters in the past) and I also wanted to live overseas. My parents were expats in the 70s and I grew up hearing stories of their exotic life. I’m in my 30s, all my friends in Sydney are married with babies and that hasn’t happened me – yet. It was exciting to accept a new challenge. I love Hong Kong and 14 months into my initial four month contract, I was offered my dream full time role as an on-air reporter.

Her advice? “You just never know where you’re going to end up in life, but the best tip I’ve ever received is if you don’t believe in yourself, who will?”

While we need role models and trailblazers to show the possibilities, such good work can quickly come undone with a single, negative comment. Don’t be a naysayer. And don’t let crappy comments from others set you back.