Since I read Senator Pauline Hanson’s comments calling domestic violence “a two-way street” and telling women simply not to “put up with it,” I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the survivors I’ve supported over the years.
With one sentence, she shifted the focus away from the person using violence and placed it dangerously back on the victim.
I run Cultural Diversity Network Inc (CDNI). Through our not-for-profit, I work with women from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds who are experiencing domestic and family violence.
All women face enormous hardship when they leave. But for many of the women I support, it is far more complicated than “just leave.”
When you are a first-generation migrant or refugee, you often arrive with no family here. No support network. You may not know Australian family law, or that government services even exist. For many, their husband is their visa, their translator, their money, and their only connection to this country.
The question isn’t “why don’t you leave?” The question is “how would I survive?” Where would I live? Who would believe me? What happens to my children?
And if a woman does find the courage to leave, the hardest part often begins. Custody battles. No financial support. No safe, affordable housing. Ongoing threats. Trying to enter a job market with no work history, no references, no confidence in English.
I think of “Sana” — not her real name. She came to Australia on a spouse visa. From the start her husband exerted extreme coercive control. She faced physical violence alongside emotional abuse and financial control. He monitored her movements, cut her off from people, and threatened to send her back if she spoke to anyone. She wasn’t allowed to work, have friends, or access a phone.
It took her years to report to police. After she did, the threats continued through other people.
When she separated, she had no work history and no savings. She eventually picked up casual shifts at a local shop. It was slow, isolating, and incredibly hard. That is what “just leave” actually looks like.
Women with young children face even more barriers. In my work I have rarely seen a case where shared custody was straightforward or safe. The stories of control, financial abuse, stalking and fear go on and on.
That comment reflects a deep lack of understanding of how domestic and family violence actually works. It is rarely about one fight. It is about patterns that build over months and years: control, isolation, threats, financial pressure, and fear.
For many women I support, “leaving” isn’t walking out a door. It means having no income, no safe place for the children, no private phone, no car, and no one to call. “Just don’t put up with it” ignores all of that.
I also want to be clear: men experience domestic violence and they deserve to be heard, supported and believed. But recognising that does not mean describing family violence as if it happens on equal terms between two people with equal power. The evidence shows women are impacted at much higher rates in intimate partner violence.
Senator Hanson has spoken publicly about her own experience of domestic violence. That lived experience could have brought more insight. Instead, it sounded like her own escape was being used as the benchmark for everyone else. “I managed to leave, so you should too” isn’t support. It’s blame.
The job of a senator in this moment is different. It should be to ask: what keeps people trapped, and what systems do we need so they can leave safely? What was said instead sent another message: if you are being hurt, it is your fault, and if you stay, that is on you.
Elected representatives have a voice, and people listen. When that voice is used to downplay violence, it adds another layer of shame and danger. This is especially true for migrant and refugee women who already fear authorities, deportation, or losing their children.
We need public representatives who focus on strengthening support for survivors, not diminishing them.
If you or someone you know needs support, you can contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732.