How we are training our boys to be gender blind in the workplace - Women's Agenda

How we are training our boys to be gender blind in the workplace

I have always worked. My sons don’t know any other way. When they were little I hoped it was a good thing. Now they are teenagers I know it is.

Our sense of normality derives from experience. Someone telling you how things should be isn’t enough. We need to live it to believe it. It stands to reason that if a child has a career-minded mother he will know that women can have rewarding careers. So by focusing on our careers we are in fact helping shape the future for women who work with or marry our sons.

Throughout my career I have found that the men I worked for and alongside who had working wives were more likely to be genderblind. That doesn’t mean that all men whose wives were at home with their children were not but the probability, in my experience, favoured men who were part of a career couple.

As well as being genderblind, they also tended to work closely with women in positions of power. They were more likely to have a gender balance in their executive teams too. I don’t believe it’s a coincidence.

My sons have no doubt that both their parents are equal. They know that we are equally responsible for them and the funding of their lives. I discussed this recently with the managing director of an advertising agency who has primary school-aged sons. She told me that one of them had been nagging her about the hours she worked and some of the travel she was doing. (I had a mini flashback.)

The complaining reached its peak when she collected him from school one day. As they were driving home he asked her how many late nights she’d be having that week. She stopped the car, turned the engine off and explained the reality of life to him.

“I can stop working right now. You can have me at home every day, and everything that goes with that: no more private school, the overseas holidays will stop and we will need to downsize our home. Or you can stop nagging me every day and start appreciating the life we have and my role in that. It’s your choice.”

What did he choose? Without hesitation he chose for his life to remain unchanged. And the nagging subsided.

Of course it’s understandable that our children should want to see us more often. When my boys were in primary school they often asked me why I worked when so many of their friends’ mothers didn’t. I explained to them that it was a choice they made. I chose to pursue a career and I was fortunate to have married a man who encouraged me. Some women choose not to have a career and that’s Ok too.

I tell my boys they are lucky to have a mother who works because if their future partner is career-focused then they will know how to make it work. If my thinking proves right, they shouldn’t have any problem working for or with women either.

Achieving the ultimate gender balance in the senior ranks of organisations must begin with a change in attitudes towards the role of women in our society. As mothers we can play a large part in this just by being the change we want to see. I honestly believe the future for women will be brighter as a result of our actions.

Do you agree? Do you believe that role playing is a lever to changing perceptions?

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