Why maternity leave can feel like a cruel mind game - Women's Agenda

Why maternity leave can feel like a cruel mind game

Don’t let anyone tell you that the process of giving birth is anything but sheer hell. Shortly after my first son was born, on my birthday and four weeks ahead of schedule, I was taken to my hospital room in a wheelchair.

It was shortly after this life-altering day that I was confronted by the reality that my career may have been amended too, without my consent. And there wasn’t a lot I could do about it. Or so I believed.

When you’re one of those women who hasn’t spent her life, or even a few months of it, imagining how amazing childbirth and motherhood will be, it can be quite confronting. It took me some time to adjust to the different pace of maternity leave: the lack of sleep mixed with withdrawal from a job I loved. It wasn’t long before I started climbing walls.

After a couple of weeks I was keen to get back to work – and grateful for the contact of some former colleagues who were eager to drop by and see the baby.

One of my writers was the first to visit me at home. I looked like hell, had barely slept for weeks and desperately needed my hairdresser. She couldn’t wait to share her news with me.

“I’m going to Singapore,” she said.

“For a holiday?” I asked.

“No, I’m going to launch a magazine over there as the editor,” she said.

I wanted to yell. Not at her, but at my boss who had discussed that job with me just before I went on maternity leave. Motherhood didn’t make me incapable of working. I still wanted to go.

Instead I said, “that’s great. How did that happen so quickly?” It was less than three months since my editor-in-chief had told me that this writer wasn’t even nearly ready to edit Dolly and here she was heading off to edit – and launch – a magazine…in Singapore. It just sounded a little unusual.

“Well, (the publisher) called me to his office,” she said. “When I got to his door he told me not to say anything, he just wanted to look at me for a minute.”

Yes, really.

“Then he said, ‘wait a minute’, and ran down the corridor,” she continued.

“I just stood there at his door not knowing what to do next.”

“When he came back to the office about 10 minutes later he said, ‘you are going to be the next Lisa Wilkinson’.

The writer went off to Singapore and I had to spend the next four months until my return to work trying to keep depressing thoughts (about my career, not about motherhood) at bay.

It turned out to be a great opportunity for the young writer and ultimately I was pleased for her. But in the process, there was no consideration at all by the male management of the day of how that might make me feel about my ongoing career prospects. It was clear that I had been overlooked for an international posting because of my new status. There was no other excuse for it.

I have never felt as vulnerable in my career as I did at that time. Maternity leave will do that to a career-focused woman anyway but if organisations do not manage the exit and return with care then they risk losing talent unnecessarily. I departed for a more progressive company within a year of my return to work.

Do you have a maternity horror story to share?

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