Australia is home to more than 1 million solo-parent families. Among them is Michelle Galea, who was named the inaugural YMCA Victorian Mother of Year in 2024. We speak to Michelle to learn about her experiences going through IVF as a solo woman, thanks to our partnership with Genea.
Michelle Galea’s journey to motherhood as a single 38-year-old began after she reached a point in life where she questioned whether starting a family was something she really wanted.
“I had been thinking about it for about five years,” she tells Women’s Agenda. “Society is telling me I should have a child by now. Do I want to have a child or is it just society?
“That really stuck with me for a long time. In the end for me, I didn’t want to regret not at least trying.
“I was very fortunate that the laws had just changed in Victoria so that solo women could go through IVF. A couple of years prior, it was illegal.”
The latest ABS data shows solo parents account for 16 per cent of all families. While there is no official tracking of the number of people choosing to become solo parents, fertility specialists have seen an uptick in patients considering this pathway.
For Michelle, being in her late 30s and knowing her fertility window was closing, led her to take the leap.
“If I was going to get into a new relationship at that later stage in my life, I would want to know them for at least five years before having children with them because having a child with a person, they’re in my life from that point onwards,” she says.
After much reflection, Michelle decided to become a solo parent and went to a fertility clinic to explore the process and her options for donor sperm. The clinic set her up with a counsellor.
What she wasn’t so prepared for was how alone she’d feel, not because there weren’t other solo mums out there, but because almost no one was talking about it.
“Back then people were scared to tell anyone,” she says.
“People were too scared to tell people that they had a child through donor conception.
“It really has changed.”
Michelle waited until she was well into her second trimester before telling anyone she was pregnant.
“Just getting pregnant is really challenging,” she says.
“Going through the whole IVF journey alone is just really isolating. It’s really isolating. It’s all the emotions, you’re volatile.
“You’re really at your peak vulnerability.
“And when you’re doing it alone, especially with us solo mums, a lot of us don’t want to tell anyone they’re going through IVF. It’s all a big secret. It’s all big hush hush.
“You don’t tell anyone until you’re pregnant. And I was one of those people. I didn’t tell anyone until I was about 20 weeks in.”
Michelle is now grateful she took a chance on herself and decided to become a mother. But she says stigma still exists.
“Some of the stories I hear from women about how they’re treated when they go to mothers’ groups or even just at schools, it’s quite heartbreaking,” she says.
“Even some of the kids are bullied.
“I’ll tell you what my son got. He got, ‘Oh, you did have a father but he went to the milk bar and never came back.’”
The cruel comments are a reminder that while society has changed and there have been incredible advances in fertility science allowing more people to become solo parents, old attitudes remain.
In the hopes of connecting and supporting other solo parents, Michelle started the peer group Australian Solo Mothers by Choice more than a decade ago.
It now has more than 4500 members across Australia and New Zealand.
She has also founded the non-profit Assisted Reproductive Treatment Families Australia to help people feel more empowered, supported and resourced as they navigate the pathway to parenthood.
“Being single, as much as it’s rewarding, it is very hard as well and having a village is so important,” she says.
Looking back at her journey, Michelle is happy she carefully considered what she wants. Her son is now 12 and she does not regret a thing.
“Everyone loves him,” she says.“He’s just a joy to be around.”
What to know if you’re considering solo parenthood
For Genea fertility specialist Dr Erin Fuller, Michelle’s story is a familiar one.
Patients who come to her inquiring about solo parenthood are rarely acting on impulse.
“The biggest driver for my patients is that they are very worried about their fertility,” Dr Fuller says.
“They haven’t found the right partner and they’re keen to move on and still have their desired outcome, which is a child.”
In some cases, her patients find themselves single half-way through fertility treatment and they decide to go through with it alone. If going this way, she says the main things to consider are support that will be needed after the baby’s born, having an emotional support network during conception and pregnancy as well as finances.
“Our counselling sessions do touch on a lot of these things,” she says.
“Financially, this is a big undertaking.
“The cost of sperm donation is quite substantial and there are patients who start the process with me and then I might not see them for six or 12 months while they’re getting finances sorted.”
There are also legalities to consider so going through the process with a trusted fertility clinic is important.
“If they have treatment through a registered clinic then they are very protected by the law,” says Dr Fuller.
“It is extremely clear what the rights or non-rights of the donor are.”
Dr Fuller says one of the key decisions parents on this pathway must make is whether to use a known or unknown donor. Each option has its own set of legalities and considerations to factor in.
Choosing a known donor, such as a friend, and trying at home with insemination, Dr Fuller says it is important to consider speaking to a lawyer about consent and the person’s future rights over the child.
Their medical health and genetics may also be a question unless these tests are done with a trusted health professional. While home inseminations are common, Dr Fuller says they can leave women unprotected. She also cautions patients meeting potential donors through social media groups and online platforms, which can be problematic.
In Australia, it is illegal to pay a sperm donor unless covering reasonable costs like travel to an appointment to make the donation.
With anonymous donors or known donors managed through a fertility clinic in Australia, Dr Fuller says there are more protections around consent, releasing future rights over the child and also allocating sperm for potential siblings.
Limits on the number of families a sperm donor can create vary state to state. This can restrict the donor options available to women. For example, in New South Wales a sperm donor is not allowed to donate again once they have created five separate families globally.
Dr Fuller says patients are sometimes surprised to see the actual number of donors they can choose from.
Figures sourced by Genea show that demand for donor sperm grew by 97.6 per cent in the three-year period to 2025, affecting a wide range of families including solo parents, same-sex couples and those experiencing infertility issues.
Specialists say the surge in demand has created a squeeze on supply, and tightening laws across the country are making it even worse.
“Definitely some women think that it’s just going to be fine, there’s going to be tons and tons and tons of donors to choose from and that they’ll just show up and pick from a list of hundreds,” she says.
How conception happens at a clinic
Dr Fuller says there are two main ways that conception with donor sperm happens if done through a clinic like Genea.
“One is called intrauterine insemination so that’s where we track the woman’s natural cycle with blood tests,” she says. “We find out when she’s the most fertile, and we do a small, quick procedure similar to a Pap smear where we inject the sperm directly into the uterus on that day.”
“The other option is to do an IVF cycle, create embryos and try for pregnancy.”
Depending on the sperm, IVF may be the best route, but the chances of success are presented to the patient before treatment begins.
“Not all sperm, even if it’s got very good parameters to begin with, necessarily likes the process of being frozen and thawed,” says Dr Fuller. “Therefore, the patient may end up with a donor that the sperm is only suitable for IVF.”
Choosing to become a solo parent is a deeply personal decision, and there are many things to consider before going ahead, but none of this should cause panic or overwhelm. With a trusted fertility team and support groups like Australian Solo Mothers by Choice, a woman can be well supported, informed and empowered in her journey.
“There are lots of women making the choice, and it’s very supported by us,” Dr Fuller says. “I mean they’re all just so happy that they have got this child that they’ve been longing for for so long.”