At 5 I learned that pretty is the most important thing a girl can be.
At 6 I learned to smile and comply when told to sit on his knee.
At 7 I learned that if a boy is mean he must really like me.
At 8 I learned not to be too loud.
At 9 I learned that marriage is about staying together for the sake of the kids.
At 10 I learned that being a good wife means never letting yourself go.
At 11 I learned that getting your period is disgusting.
At 12 I learned that I’d be so much prettier if I just lost some weight.
At 13 I learned that if you stay hungry they’ll love you more.
At 14 I learned that if you wear short shorts you’re asking for it.
At 15 I learned that divorce equals failure.
At 16 I learned that if you have sex you’re a slut and if you don’t you’re frigid.
At 17 I learned that if you’re drunk it’s not really rape.
At 18 I learned that staying silent saves you from scrutiny.
At 19 I learned that medication numbs but never heals.
At 20 I learned that when he cheats it’s probably your fault.
At 21 I learned that there’s a big difference between him spitting AT you and ON you.
At 22 I learned that not having access to your money is in your best interests.
At 23 I learned that when he listens in on your calls it’s because he loves you.
At 24 I learned that you’re in the most danger after you leave.
At 25 I learned that when the boss insists you dance with him it’s just a bit of fun.
At 26 I learned that if he rates you “most fuckable” in the office you should be flattered.
At 27 I learned how to make a fake phone call when walking home alone at night.
At 28 I learned that he needed my Dad’s permission to ask.
At 29 I learned that only thin girls make beautiful brides.
At 30 I learned that the clock is ticking.
At 31 I learned that if you’re not getting pregnant it’s probably your fault.
At 32 I learned that if you just keep smiling they’ll think you’re a better mother.
At 33 I learned that if you don’t bounce back it’s because you’re a lazy pig.
At 34 I learned that working part time makes you invisible.
At 35 I learned that I’m lucky he does so much for the kids.
At 36 I learned that I must be really disappointed not to have a little princess.
At 37 I learned that it’s nice to have your own business as a hobby.
At 38 I learned that whether you’re at the school gate or in the office, you’re a shit mother.
At 39 I learned that no matter how much more you earn they’ll always think he paid.
At 40 I learned that those lines around my eyes can easily be edited out.
At 41 I learned that women should stop whingeing because we’ve got it really good these days.
At 42 I watch them eat another cupcake and strike another pose.
The lights are on. The performance continues.
You’d think we would have learned by now.