Fear can be paralysing and it can prevent us from reaching our potential.
The most terrifying threats we encounter at work rarely involve the fear of physical pain, but rather the fear of damaging our reputation, pride and ego.
At least that’s according to author and executive coach Margie Warrell who, having interviewed some of Australia’s most successful businesspeople while analysing the latest research into neuroscience, has published a new book, Stop Playing Safe, which urges us to be more courageous in our day-to-day interactions at work.
When we don’t take risks, she says, we conform and fail to contribute what we’re capable of. We maximise our potential by stepping out of our comfort zones and doing the things we fear most – having an awkward conversation, making a difficult phone call, sharing an unpopular opinion, asking for a salary increase.
“The core thing holding smart, capable people back from success is a lack of clarity and purpose, and then a willingness to take risks, to step outside of their comfort zone – both financially and emotionally, she says.
“We do ourselves a disservice thinking we have to wait to feel confident or bold or brave before we actually act that way. When it comes to being courageous, we just need to do it.”
Of course, that may be easier said than done. And it’s always easier for some, than others – especially the nervous worry-warts among us.
But Warrell believes behaviours and thought patterns can change – indeed, the latest in neuroscience finds our brains have plasticity. She outlines strategies that explore how, with a conscious, deliberate effort, we can learn to better embrace fear.
Change starts with superficial adjustments – such as shifting your posture in order to physically feel and appear more powerful. “It’s a trick. It might sound superficial, but how we hold ourselves really impacts how we feel psychologically.” It can also involve thinking about role models and mentors – either within your own circles or on the other side of the world – and considering how they would approach certain situations.
And more long-term and effective change can occur with being more profound. Warrell’s book starts by explaining the need to find your “why” and becoming clear about the bigger purpose of what you’re trying to achieve. She urges us to forget the insecurity of needing gratification from others and to consider how our work can serve a need that goes beyond self-satisfaction. “Playing it small and worrying about the small things doesn’t serve anyone.
Sometimes, we need to get out of our own way and say, ‘I can give in to these doubts, but who does it service?'” she says. “Get past yourself and connect to something bigger than you. It’s not all about you.”
Warrell’s book is not specifically written for women, but she believes more women than men tend to suffer self-doubt. We’re less likely to assert ourselves, more likely to second-guess ourselves and not as likely to put our hands up – even in the most standard of working situations like sharing an opinion during a meeting. It’s the little things that matter as they all add up to having others perceive us as either holding leadership potential or not.
“Men are still promoted on potential, while women are promoted on performance,” she says. “I really believe that women who own their power have the ability to affect change.”
We’re capable of much more than we think, adds Warrell. The most overwhelming of tasks can often be the ones that prove just what we can do.
Does fear hold you back from reaching your potential?