Every year, as Mother’s Day rolls around, the world gets louder in celebration of mums. But for women who no longer have their mum, this noise can be too much to bear. From “spoiling mum” newsletters flooding your inbox to social media tributes across all corners of the internet, the reminders are everywhere, whether you’re ready for them or not.
For nearly four million Australian women, this time of year is less about celebration and more about quiet endurance. Despite this large number of women living without their mum, we rarely talk about what that loss does to your life over time and how no matter how much time passes, this time of year never gets any easier.
I was 23 when my mum died from cancer. It means I will spend more of my life without her than with her. Fourteen years on, what I know for certain is this: grief doesn’t pass. It changes shape, but it stays with you, in big moments and small ones, in ways that are often invisible to everyone else. And perhaps that’s the real issue. Not just the grief itself, but how little space we make for it in our everyday lives.
Despite grief being an innate human experience, it is still something people struggle to talk about, especially when it’s happening to someone else. It can be uncomfortable, difficult to navigate, and easy to avoid, but that discomfort often shows up as silence. Friends stop mentioning your mum, worried they’ll upset you. Colleagues put off checking in, unsure what to say. Conversations shift, and over time, there’s an unspoken expectation to move forward, and to be less defined by your loss.
But grief doesn’t work like that. It isn’t something you leave behind, it becomes part of who you are. Avoiding it doesn’t make it easier; it makes it lonelier.
What most people need isn’t the perfect words, but the willingness to show up. To acknowledge the loss rather than sidestep it. To say her name in conversation. To recognise the dates that matter like Mother’s Day, birthdays, and anniversaries. To check in not just in the immediate aftermath, but months and years later. The world may have moved on, but the impact of grief remains.
These small, human gestures don’t fix loss, but they make it more bearable. They remind those living with grief that they don’t have to carry it alone.
This extends into all parts of life, including our workplaces, where people spend a significant amount of their time. While policies and leave matter, what often makes the biggest difference is culture: environments where people feel safe to acknowledge loss, where conversations aren’t avoided, and where support doesn’t disappear after the first few weeks.
Beyond the emotional toll, the impact of grief is also economic. Preliminary data from Motherless Daughters Australia’s Economic Impacts of Mother Loss report and subsequent Workplace Productivity research, shows that nearly three in four grieving daughters (72%) experience career disruption, 91% have reduced their working hours, and almost half say their loss has cost them more than $10,000 in income. This reinforces that grief doesn’t sit separately from our daily lives, it shapes how we show up, earn, and function over time.
Grief doesn’t follow a timeline, or resolve after a few days, or weeks, or even years. It lingers, reshapes, and resurfaces in unexpected ways, forever.
If we want to better support grieving daughters, or anyone living with loss for that matter, it starts with changing how we show up for one another. Not just in moments of crisis, but in the everyday. It means being willing to sit with discomfort, to ask how someone is really going, and to listen without trying to fix or rush them through it.
For many women, the hardest part isn’t always the loss itself. It’s navigating a world that expects you to silently carry it, while everything around you continues as normal.
This Mother’s Day, as we’re encouraging Australians to “Speak Your Grief,” it’s worth remembering that speaking is only one part of the equation. For grief to be truly supported, it needs to be met with openness, compassion, and the courage to acknowledge it, not just once, but over time.
About Motherless Daughters Australia:
Motherless Daughters Australia connects and supports women, girls, and families experiencing the distress and lifelong impact caused by mother loss. They believe that with support, guidance and resources, motherless daughters feel less alone and more supported and understood in their life journey.
About the Research
Preliminary findings from Motherless Daughters Australia’s Economic Impacts of Mother Loss report and Workplace Productivity report.