Not All Men are John Singleton: Thank you Richard Glover

Did you see the image splashed across The Daily Telegraph yesterday? Just a couple of Australia’s richest men enjoying a long lunch at a lovely restaurant on a sunny Monday. Which just happened to descend into a rather spectacular show of violence when John Singleton lashed out at his friend Jack Cowin with a broken glass in hand. 

Try as Singleton might to construe the episode as normal (and to be fair it’s not the first time we have seen rich and powerful men to resort to violence) I was so grateful to read the stance that broadcaster, author and columnist Richard Glover took. He posted this on Facebook:

“In a three-hour show today, we did five or six minutes on John Singleton and how, when probably a bit drunk, he instantly went to “jokes” about beating up women. And you’ve no idea of the number of listeners who complained, either on the grounds it was trivial – “why is the ABC bothered with gossip” – or “he’s a good bloke and just had a few drinks”.
Personally, I think the subtext of these comments is: “given a bit of drink, all Aussie men are like that, so where’s the news?”.
In fact, some of our complainants actually said: “why is this news?”
Can I say in response: In my experience, very few Australian men are like this: it’s just a few weirdos.
Actually, we Aussie men, most of us, are relatively nice. We’re child-centred. And woman-loving. And gay-friendly (and, in many instances, actually gay).
That’s why it is news, for a minute or two, that one of our richest and most media-powerful men is not the “normal Aussie bloke” he’s spent his life portraying himself to be.
Maybe he was once. Right now, bashing women “jokes” are regarded as not funny by 99.9 per cent of normal Australian males.
And that is news worth reporting. As we did today.
PS: Remember what the great bloke from the Aussie army said just a moment ago: “the standard you walk past is the standard you accept.”

I couldn’t agree more. Caring about women’s empowerment is often confused or construed as disliking men. That observation is levelled at me often enough and each time I am taken aback. In my experience wanting gender equality and liking men are not mutually exclusive. Like many women, my life is full of men I wouldn’t trade for the world. Men who respect and value women. Men who don’t just tolerate my stance against gender inequality but support it.    

The truth is there are a lot of men out there who believe in women’s empowerment as much as anyone else. And those men need to speak up and speak often. I suspect there are plenty of men who observe John Singleton attempting to whack his good friend in the head and thought that doesn’t resonate with them.

There is a huge difference between disliking all men, and, say, disliking gender inequality or disliking men who trivialise violence. Or, as Richard Glover writes, disliking anyone seeking to normalise offensive conduct under the guise of masculinity. Those distinctions need to be drawn because if they aren’t we sell an awful lot of men short.