‘I’m so busy!’ Why changing your dialogue will help | Women's Agenda

‘I’m so busy!’ Why changing your dialogue will help

I am busy. Really busy. So much to do. So many fabulous projects to explore. Not enough time to do it. Too many competing demands on my very limited time.

This used to bother me. I spent so much time stressed about how much I had to do that by the time I found time to do it my brain was incapable of functioning.

Something had to give. And I decided to let go. I employed help, clarified my priorities, stopped criticising myself and changed the language I used to describe how I was feeling.

That was ten years ago and I haven’t looked back.

Have you ever taken note of the words you use to speak about yourself, your role, your business, your family or your ambition? What words do you use? How do you answer when others ask how you are?

Do you respond: “I am so busy and just can’t get through everything!” or “I am just exhausted!”?

And what language do you use to talk to yourself?

Perhaps your internal dialogue includes messages like: “I have no money”, “I couldn’t possibly afford that”, “I can’t manage it!”, “I don’t have enough time!!”?

We are all guilty of searching for sympathy sometimes. That’s OK, but have you considered the cumulative damage it is doing if done on a regular basis?

Our brain absolutely believes the words we say and fires off an electrical impulse in response. What difference would it make to our personal outcomes if we told our brain how fabulous and calm we were? You only have to think of the last tearjerker or scary movie you saw to know that what we think or see can elicit a powerful emotional response according to our belief system. This is why people react to the same movie in a different way. What if we could change our belief system?

Make a difference in your life by changing your language to yourself. Focus on your strengths and the positives around you.

Whenever you have a negative thought, alter it to create a positive one. Even if times are tough there are always things that can make you smile – you just have to look for them. For example, instead of thinking “I can’t do this task”, try “How can I learn the skills I need to do this task? Who can I ask to help?”.

Taming the thoughts in your head is the first step. The second is changing the language you use when speaking to others.

This also goes for networking, and in a big way. Think about the people you’ve met over the last few months. Were you drawn to the person who complained about how busy they were? Would you be likely to give them more work to add to their already busy workload? Surely not!

More likely you were drawn to the happy person who was positive and friendly. Some days we have to fake it until we make it but generally, it is easy to do once you’re conscious of it.

So when someone asks you how you are, what will your answer be?

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