Most of us are familiar with those nagging thoughts that tell us we are not good enough, that cast doubt on our goals and undermine our accomplishments. I like to call those nagging thoughts my inner critic or the gremlin that sits on my shoulder.
Our inner critic is there to keep us safe. It is the gremlin that is constantly whispering advice to us, protecting us from embarrassment, feeling rejection and being uncomfortable. The problem with our inner critic is that it sabotages our efforts and prevents us from achieving what we are truly capable of.
So what does your inner critic say to you? How is your inner voice holding you back from being an exceptional leader or from achieving your career goals?
For many years, I believed the stories of my inner critic… above all else and in doing so I held myself back from seeking promotions and projects that I really wanted to be considered for. I believed my own negative self talk, that I wasn’t good enough, rather than listening to those who were championing my success and encouraging me to go after what I really wanted.
And then I recognized the extraordinary power our thoughts can have on our success as a leader.
I was holidaying with a friend whom was a highly successful executive for a large financial firm. At the time my inner critic was having a field day and playing havoc with my career, health and my life in general.
To my surprise, my friend was unfamiliar with the concept of having constant “noise” from an inner critic. Instead of being a critic, her inner voice was her supporter, advocate and championed every effort in her quick rise to the top as a senior leader in a mans world.
This gave me hope. If she could have an inner voice that supported her success, so could I. So I set about finding out how to silence my inner critic and take back the power.
“Change your thoughts and you will change your world.” – Norman Vincent Peale
Here are 3 strategies I have employed to silence the inner critic and change my world.
- Examine your inner critic. Become aware of what are the common thoughts that run through your mind on a consistent basis. Once we are aware of them then we have the opportunity to make a choice whether or not we will listen to them. Is there any basis of truth to what your inner critic has to say? Is it realistic?
Most often we are way more critical of ourselves then is fair. By acknowledging that our inner critic is not being fair and reasonable we take away the power of these gremlins
- Take action in spite of the inner critic. Remember, your inner critic is there to keep you small, hold you back and keep you safe from potentially failing. But here’s the thing, success can only be reached through taking action and sometimes those actions will feel risky.
At times we need to take the chance that we could possibly fail, we might feel uncomfortable or we may be judged. But it is through taking these chances that we grow, prove to ourselves that we can and allow others to see what we are truly capable of.
- Focus on your success. What we focus on is what we get to the exclusion of all else. So often I have seen leaders focusing on and paying attention to what they “think” they can’t do rather then on what they know they can.
By focusing on our achievements, little wins and our successes we are building up an arsenal of effective weaponry to counter attack our inner critic. It is our proof if you like, to demonstrate to us that our negative self-talk is a load of bollocks!
Our inner voice will always be with us. Our daily challenge is to acknowledge it without allowing it to determine our actions and limit our achievements as leaders. The trick is to develop a healthy relationship with it. Use it to help you to recognise your fears, doubts and insecurities, and then step out boldly in spite of them.
Is today the day to decide to take charge of your inner critic and no longer allow it to hold you back from what you really want in your career?