I was in yoga class the other night and the teacher was discussing with us how we (as people) often talk – and think – about doing things but we’re often not comfortable actually sticking through the process. We’re always in such a hurry to get to our destinations, get to the next place, that we lose the concept of actually being in the moment; of training ourselves to actually stay with the day-to-day and moment-to-moment of what we’re trying to achieve.
I’ve struggled a lot with this concept because it’s really easy to start something, or to get excited about getting ‘there’, yet it’s another thing altogether to actually go through the experience of the journey and most of all – to stick with it, time after time.
I know that it’s the same for many of you. How often do you identify what you want and go all guns blazing to get ‘there’, only to lose momentum along the way and give up? I do it fairly often too, with things on different scales. It could be something as small as writing a daily journal, to something larger like a project plan or learning a new language. You’re dying to do it but it’s so hard to maintain the momentum! Often in life, we’re so used to being told what we have to do that we think that’s all there is. There’s school, official projects, work. Everything else is just too hard. If you want something extra though, often you have to work for it. This is the discipline that we’re trying to achieve – over and above the day-to-day stuff. (And usually, when you’re talking about the additional projects, a little time put towards them goes a really long way).
Here’s three ways that I have found helps me to stick to my resolutions.
Forget the excuse that you’re busy
I know that it’s true. I know how busy you are. Me too. That doesn’t mean that you can’t achieve what you want. It’s about planning, diarising, scheduling, sticking to it, and just turning up. Often the worst part about doing something is actually making the decision, and the thought processes in the lead-up. How many times have you talked yourself out of going to the gym after work by lunch time? Yet when you do go, it’s never as bad as it seemed when the thought was running through your mind throughout the day, right?
The anticipation of something that you perceive may be undesirable is usually far worse than the actual experience of it. As much as you can, remove the decision-making process so that you don’t have to worry about constantly draining your emotions making choices about what you should or shouldn’t do. Turn it into a routine – then it’s only when something comes up (life happens!) that you have to make a choice.
Be a witness to your feelings
Accept that you may not want to do what you have to do at this very moment to get things done (I’m often writing late at night – not exactly prime time for me!). But I also accept that that’s what I need to get things done. It doesn’t always happen, but I am aware that I am in control and if I don’t move forward with the projects that I want to achieve, they will not happen. It’s the beauty but also the challenge of aspiration.
Rather than getting caught up in these feelings, step away from them and just watch the thoughts. Don’t get caught up in them. Let the thoughts – because our thoughts contribute broadly to our feelings – simply float by, and be in the moment.
When you fall down, get back up
So many of us (I’ve done this myself many times) often stop and give up when we hit a hurdle. There are certain hurdles that you shouldn’t try to push through, and it’s up to you to know the difference between the universe stopping you for a reason, and just finding challenge within yourself.
If you hit challenges that make you frustrated with yourself and therefore want to give up, what you need to do is develop a strength and resilience. This is not ingrained – it is learned over time. The people who are most successful at achieving their goals are not necessarily more talented, more intelligent, or more anything. They have found a way to develop discipline and resilience within themselves and push past obstacles when they inevitably run into them.
If you’re ever in doubt about what you should do – just show up.
How do you overcome hurdles to follow through on your resolutions?