Should you be leaning in, leaning out or simply sitting up straight?
Three years since Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg coined the term, Lean In, we’re still asking those questions.
Sandberg’s book of career tips for women was a call for us to sit at the table and speak up, and it’s certainly inspired a number of opinions regarding what women should and shouldn’t do in the workplace — and if we should simply just ignore Sandberg altogether.
Indeed, even Sandberg’s suggested she may have gotten a few things wrong in the book, particularly after the sudden death of her husband in 2015 forced her to appreciate just how challenging it is for single mothers.
Meanwhile, we’re still hearing a number of variations of the term ‘lean in’ from those who claim to know what women really should be doing when it comes to their careers.
We’re still being told to lean all different ways, depending on who’s giving the advice.
Here’s my guide to what it all means.
Lean in
This is the idea you’re not getting what you want because you’re not making your presence known. It’s not women’s fault that we’re unfairly represented in the workplace but it kind of is your fault for not being able to meet the demands of a busy schedule AND let everyone know just what you have to offer. Stop sitting back, shift your body forward, and speak up in those meetings.
Lean out
Now this is the idea that you’re actually putting too much into your work and not taking the time to look after yourself. Or, worse, you’re trying too hard and nobody really likes a working woman who negotiates for what she actually wants. So step away from the table, they don’t want you there anyway.
Lean back
Actually, all this ‘leaning in’ indicates you’re physically exhausted. You’re stressed, not sleeping, and giving your employer too many hours on the clock. Get out of the board room and on to a beach somewhere — if you can afford it, having just told your boss to, “get stuffed”.
Recline
It’s another variation of the ‘lean back’ mantra, although this one implies you’ll be supported by a comfy footstool. The ‘recline’ movement urges women to lay off the hard work a little because all this overachieving is making the rest of us look bad. So put your feet up, let the status quo remain, and get back to juggling your career and home life without ever hoping to reach the same levels of leadership as your male counterparts.
Be lean
Grab a dieting book, get back to the gym and start working off the extra kilos. All this leaning in, leaning back, leaning out and reclining is making you fat. Forget trying to have the satisfying career and dismiss those work-related ambitions. What really matters is how healthy (read: skinny) you are.
Hang on
So you tried leaning in, but had to lean out, you kind of want to do both and now you have no hope of getting the work/life balance you want. The ‘hang on’ movement is the call to balance on the side of the chair and hope it doesn’t topple over while you try to get through the week.
Confused? Feel like you’ve just been through a yoga class and still don’t understand the moves you’re supposed to be doing?
My advice is to do what works for you and lean whatever way the wind blows.
The above is an edited and updated version of an article first published in 2014. We’re still talking about Sandberg’s book and ‘leaning in’ so felt it was worth sharing again.