I am no relationship expert. I’m not a psychologist or a counsellor and I have no formal qualifications to dish out marital advice, but in the spirit of Miranda Kerr I am not going to be deterred.
After reading her words of wisdom about donning a dress and popping a marinated chicken to roast in anticipation of her husband’s arrival home from work and refraining from talking about her own work life over dinner, lest his masculinity suffer, I reflected on my own marriage.
Miranda Kerr dishes up roast chicken (and some terrible marriage advice) https://t.co/nHkPEpIUK7
— Women's Agenda (@WomensAgenda) September 11, 2017
I thought, if her words are true, our relationship is doomed. DOOMED. Aside from the fact that there are times when I arrive home later than my husband (because I have been, shhhh, working) on the days when he comes home after me, I do not dress up. I do not always have a meal on the go and, quelle horreur, we often discuss my work. These atrocities have not yet conspired to undermine our marriage of eight years.
Now, reader, I must confess that our marriage is not perfect. We drive one another completely batty on occasion. Just last week, in a rather shocking turn of events, he contaminated my beloved homemade muesli with sultanas and we have diametrically opposed views on selecting a route anywhere, finding a car park and what constitutes an ambient room temperature. We also have three small children who are not always, shall we say, conducive, to promoting a harmonious, peaceful existence at all times.
I don't don a dress for my husband's arrival home from work so either he isn't a "visual creature" or this advice is ridiculous. https://t.co/NNPTcwT734
— Georgina Dent (@georgiedent) September 11, 2017
But, there is a lot we agree on and I was not at all surprised when he came home on Monday night and described Kerr’s advice, which he had read in our daily newsletter (which you really ought to subscribe to/send to your friends) as “barking mad”. It was at that moment that I decided to dish out a single piece of advice that I believe applies to all relationships: married or otherwise.
And it is this: if your significant other, your romantic partner, the yin to your yang or the salt to your vinegar, cannot cope with you having a job outside your relationship RUN. For the hills. As fast as you can.
If his or her identity or ego is threatened by you having interests beyond them, it needs to be game over. If that sounds harsh, it’s because it is. If it sounds prescriptive, it’s because it is.
As I said, I am not technically qualified to be giving marital advice but I am absolutely certain that any relationship which requires one person to be subservient to another is corrosive.
Don a dress and roast a chook if you are so inspired, but please, please, don’t buy into the antiquated notion that working and femininity are mutually exclusive.